The past year has been such a crap year for me...really went through a long period of emotional roller coaster ride and I just got to blame myself for being such a stupid idiotic fool for allowing others to manipulate and abuse me mentally and emotionally.

What a FOOL.

But I'm glad I have finally sorted things out once and for all.

I have always believed things happen for a reason. Someone higher up possibly wanted me to see the true colours of someone and hence decided to put me at where I was in the past 2 years to shorten this agonizing interaction. Though I seriously regretted the decision made 2 years back to work with this person, I still have to thank someone up there who taught me an important life lesson.

Things do happen for a reason.

It probably wasn't coincidental that I made a mistake in my Phuket trip booking which resulted in a clash with my friend's wedding. On retrospect, it was probably once again the doing of some one up there who wanted me to stop running away from my problems again. Someone noticed I have been taking very regular break, going out of the country and wanted to ask me why. After some thought I figured it was actually my subconscious way of running away from my problems at the pretense that I wanted to see the world out there. Yes I do want to see the world out there but there is something inside me that wanted to run far away from my problems even more... Had I gone ahead for the Phuket trip, I believe I would just make myself into thinking that "Hey, I had a break already. Time to continue [usual] work" and just continue my downward spiral into the depressive state.

I am glad someone up there made this arrangement to make me sit down and face my problem and get it sorted out once and for all. Like the chinese saying goes, "长痛不如短痛".

Thanks to whoever you are up there for pulling me out of this disastrous state. I am slowly but surely picking myself up from where I fell and slowly getting out of depression.

19 more days to a clean break and a BRAND NEW START.

Life WILL move on.

I think I have reached my threshold for what's been happening lately. I have never been more upset than yesterday evening when I saw a post that has insulted my integrity by someone whom I had the most respect.

It was a rude shock and a reality check for me after seeing what was written. All these while I've been trying to convince myself that the decision I made 1.5 years ago was right, to the point that sometimes I think I've been literally crazy trying to deceive myself.

What first started out as a pure repayment of gratitude boiled down to nothing. Nothing at all. I wasn't expecting for anything, but neither did i expect to be insulted.

I was actually on my way home on the train after dinner when I saw the post and it hurt me so badly that I just teared. Teared in the train, teared on my way back home, teared in my room, teared on my bed, teared through the whole night, teared in my shower this morning, teared on the bus on my way to work today, and teared in the train and now tearing in front of my laptop. I'm tearing out of angst, tearing because I felt lyk the world's greatest fool, tearing because I regretted making the choice that I made 1.5 years ago.

I kept asking myself over and over again the whole night - why did I chose to forgo other job opportunities to be here? why did I miss out on e chance to work overseas? why did i subject to a pay now that's lower than what I used to get when I had a degree? why did i subject myself to getting work induced eczema that's so terrible that I've always been ashamed to show peoply my hands and legs? Why did i subject myself to such bad bouts of eczema that wakes me up in the middle of the night every single night? why did i subject myself to such bad bouts of eczema that required me to take high doses of steroids that led to my fractures? why did i subject myself to sleeping in late on monday nights and waking up real early to attend weekly meetings? why did i haf to forgo my weekends with my family, my niece and nephew to mark the assignments? why did i have to subject myself to working through excruciating physical pains? why do i have to be blamed for blaming him when all along i only blamed myself for having taken the wrong step right from the beginning?

Having gone through these questions repeatedly and thinking of what was posted, I think it was really a waste of my effort, waste of my time to have done all these to end up just being insulted.

What a fool i have been. It is really time for me to put a stop to this because it will never get to anywhere. It is really time for me to learn to love myself more and learn to be selfish. No one is ever indispensible in this world. It is time to protect myself. I shall stop tearing after today and pick up the pieces from here.

It has probably been more than half a year since I last blogged! Nope, I haven't forgotten about the existence of this blog of mine, but for some reasons, I just decided to stop logging in and updating things that's been going through my life.

It has been 9 months since I returned from my studies and throughout the 9 months, I've been constantly asking myself what have I done/achieved thus far and what's my plan for the next few months to come? I guess...I haven't really come out of my quarter life crisis that started since I hit 25....I had thought I had things sorted out, but....since coming back from Perth, things just seemed to have changed...or rather...I think I have changed.....I sorta am lost...more lost than before....to the extent that I started asking myself did I even make the right career choice?? This sounds really scary to me...to have come so far, to have spent my entire fortune getting that blardy expensive piece of paper and then asking myself if I made the right career choice!

Things haven't really worked out the way that I had wanted at work and I'm so tired of it all. Sometimes I just feel like calling it quits..perhaps a change in environment would do me good...perhaps moving out of the country and starting out fresh somewhere else would be good too....or perhaps.....perhaps a total career switch is just what I needed all along! Seriously....I cant see what's in store for me in the next few years, or for that matter, for the next few months to come! I'm just taking one step at a time...I feel....trapped.....so so trapped....Argh!!! So hating myself for having made a blardy wrong choice! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! FML!!!!

Ahh...as I grow older (and still remain single), I cant help but start to dislike family gatherings such as during Lunar New Year....

I used to like Lunar New Year since the day I started to appreciate what's inside the little red packet...but...over the years as I grew older I start to dread it for the following reasons:

1. The big question: "Why still not attached??" Omg...and every year my answer will be the same - too busy. And people around will add on: "Her expectations too high lah"...Oh well, I never see my expectations as too high because I believe everyone has their own set of expectations, just for some reason, mine seemed higher juz coz itz more on the materialistic side of things...oh well I would reckon instead that what others look for are much harder to get...come on people...look at the high divorce rates these days...you think you can really get someone who will truly love you, dote on you 100%? Not easy to find such a person...i reckon they are close to extinction...so before you say my expectations are high, think about yours too! Mine are more realistic than materialistic btw....
2. Huge chore to do spring cleaning...don't have a choice as mum and dad will nag at me...
3. Troublesome to go shopping for new clothes/ shoes...in fact as the years pass by, I start to recycle my shoes, my handbags, my jeans to the point that I only get a new top for CNY and then start to fret on CNY day 2 on what to wear....lolz
4. Too much too eat! When you go visiting, you are offered loads of food and its rude not to eat whatever's offered and by end of the first day, I get so bloated I could diet for the next one week and still not be able to lose what I gained! OMG......
5. I get the post-CNY depression...as much as I love my job but after 2 days of break itz a chore to drag myself back to work....don't you agree?
6. Itz a reminder that I have grown another year older!
   

Oh man....3 more days.....

2011 is knocking on our doors very soon...tis the time again to reflect on what I've done in the past year and see if I have fulfilled my 2010 resolution..

2010 in General... ...

I must say 2010 literally whizzed past me faster than 2009 and I'm not sure if that is because I've been pretty occupied with studies for most part of the year or its just coz it has been a relatively good year for me, and thus I don't dread any single moment of it?? Hmm....But on retrospect, 2010 has been a fruitful year.

First of all, I'm a happier person in 2010 and I'm sure those close to me would agree on that with me. Especially my uncle agony Seth, you would probably have noticed that I did not have much of complaints this year! Yeah!! Hahas...This could be due in part that I have put my career to a back seat this year.  Not saying that being a physio makes me unhappy. That is so untrue. In fact it is being able to do what I love best, as a physio, as a clinician that made me happy. So you must be confused why putting my career to a back seat actually made me a happier person....What I had meant by that is really, just forgoing the thought about working hard to prove my worth and moving up the ladder. In 2009, I've been thinking alot about the issue on career and it took me a long while to realise that being on top is not everything because it just blurs everything. For a long while I was lost in my own world trying to prove my worth to my bosses and forgotten the real reason why I had wanted to be in this profession. The day I figured that out, I was really frightened by who I have turned into. But the good thing was that it was not too late to realise that. There is still chance and options for me to choose the path I want to take. I'm glad I made the bold decision to leave my previous company (not that it was a bad experience, but I just could not fit myself into the culture) and start to do what I like best again - helping patients who needs my help. And I believe that is also what kept me going during the tough 3 months in Perth =)

So yup...having sorted out what I want in life, it made things so much simpler and I'm so much more happier now. So the key is really that sometimes all we need is really some 'me' time to sort things through. Don't ever use the excuse of having no time to push things aside coz end of the day, some things can wait. Like what my cousin posted on her fb last time "Time is like the cleavage. Squeeze, sure have one!"

Of Family... ...

Having spent 3 months in Perth alone, I got to appreciate my family more. The lil things that you never had to worry about becomes a big worry when you are staying alone on your own in a far away land. I still remember my landlady asking if I missed my mum's cooking. My answer was 'no' coz I could cook what she cooked. But I missed having taken for granted that when I'm home, there will always be a meal ready for me. So don't hiam when you've got someone to cook for u!

And of course, this year we've gotten a new addition to the family - Ayden aka Ashley's didi! With two kids in the house, that's enough to keep mum and dad bz bz bz! Which is good, coz that means no time for nagging at me! Lolz....

Of Friends... ...

Well this year I'm happy to say that I've gotten more time to spend with my dear friends. Its just amazing how taking just 10-15 hrs a week off work gave me the time I needed to get a life and mingle with my dearies!

I'm really really thankful for all the friends that I have. Without all of you, it'd be really tough for me to hang in there and finish my Masters program. My sincere thanks to each and everyone of you who "kept me company" either via facebook or msn when I was alone and away in Perth. Thanks for taking the effort to send me encouraging messages despite the busy schedule that each of you have. Thanks for all the "I miss you" messages (though quite a few times I was the thick-skinned person who asked you all to say you missed me) on facebook! You guys made me feel so missed, so loved and so blessed! *MUACKS*

Of course not forgetting my new found great pals from UWA especially Silvia, Lily and Ringo! Thanks for taking great care of me, showering my with pills and berocca when I fell ill. It has been great fun hanging out with you peeps! Made life in Perth so much easier and fun

Of School... ...

School has taken a large part of my time in 2010. Not just physically school in Perth but school work in general. After screwing up my first module big time I've sorted things out and made a wise decision to place full concentration on my studies. There was simply no way I could juggle both the work of a senior physio and that of a Masters student and I've seen how I've fared really terribly both at work and with my first module. It was literally on the dot pass and at work I started to lose clients. I thought it was not fair at all to my clients who pay to see me and I don't give my 100% to helping them recover and at the same time it was not fair to myself either for the fact that I've worked so hard over the years just to save up enough to get myself into this Masters program. So that made me decide to leave my previous clinic and start working part-time so that I can have more time for my studies and still be able to give my 100% to my clients. Ultimately, if i do well in my studies, my clients would benefit from my new wealth of knowledge too! So definitely no regrets making that decision even though it meant a huge drastic drop in my income.

And I'm really glad that my efforts paid off because subsequently I managed to secure really good grades for the rest of my modules! Was a really pleasant surprise given that there were so many other physios from all over with more years of work experience than me. To be able to do that well was a literal pat on my shoulders! 

After I came back, alot of people started asking me what's next - i.e PhD?? Well...my answer is a 'nah'. I'm not a research person, give me stats or any numbers I will faint. So I think I should be done with the paper chase now. At least for now, unless I decide to do a second Masters in Sports Physio which is quite unlikely for the next 1-2 years...shall see how things go and if I still have the energy to study! hahas

Of Work... ...

Well, at this stage you should know I have left my previous company and came out to start a new practice with shifu. After working part-time for most part of the year and going away on no pay leave for 3 months, I'm finally back to work full time in December. Still trying to build up my case load at the moment and hopefully things will pick up soon...

Oh yes...work this year hasn't been really that boring. Thanks to my classmate back at UWA, I got to provide physio coverage for the Riverdance show! A pity I didn't get to watch the show as I was at the backstage all the time. But I still got entertained by the dancers when they come into my physio room and do some dance steps! Hehehe...

Hopefully next year I'll get to do some kinda physio coverage outside of clinic...

Of Health... ...

Health's been pretty good in 2010, no major injuries except for the rib injury during practice...but it's not broken so that's a good sign....

The only problematic thing is perhaps my numbness in my left jaw/chin from my wisdom tooth extraction...think it's more or less hopeless already so just have to live with it....Talking about that...i was appalled dat e surgeon who did my surgery actually left a fragment in my gums and did not even notice it from my post-op x-rays!! If I hadn't mentioned to this other dentist whom I saw for review today (which is 1 yr and 1 mth post-op), that fragment will probably decay under my flap of unhealed gums...goodness gracious....utterly disappointed with the service of the dental clinic since the day they screwed up my op schedule big time....thank god she didn't leave behind any surgical tools in my gum else I'm so gona sue her!

But that aside, overall I didn't fall sick much tis year either! Looks lyk all my flus in e past were really stress induced! Hopefully things will just get better from here...

New Year Resolution... ...

Having sat down and thought about things that happened in 2010, I felt that I have wasted quite a fair bit of the year just studying. So now that I'm done with the paper chase, I have decided to make the best out of 2011 and dedicate 2011 to doing all the things that I have wanted to do in the past but did not have the time to do so!

1. Travel! This is something that I have always wanted to do but never had the chance to travel as much as I would like to due to work committments and cashflow restrictions (had to save up for my studies!) So next year I have planned for a 2 weeks trip to Tibet (hopefully) or NZ and 2-3 other short trips, including my dive trip...gona finally get my dive cert next year!!!!

2. Golf... yup something that I had wanted to pick up 2 years ago but same reason as above...So I'm gona go for my first lesson on 9 Jan if nothing crops up!

3. Sign up for half marathon (if not a full marathon) by end of the year. Yes...I've gotten my new pair of runners and am so excited to start my running regime next year. Wana keep myself fit and healthy and get some lil' medals to frame up...hahahas...now is perhaps literally medals chase (esp since I din manage to get the medal for top student and disappointed so many ardent fans of mine....) But besides that, wana start running to lose weight! Gotten so unfit and unhealthy and put on horrendous weight since I came out to work...so my goal for next year is to lose another 3 kgs! I'm sure it can be done. If I could do it in 3 months in Perth just by walking daily to school and back home for half an hour each time, I'm sure I'll be able to do that within a year with running!!

4. Own my first jewelry/ accessory from Tiffany & Co. by end of 2011! Yes you heard me there!!! Since no one is going to buy one for me any time soon, why not work hard for it and pamper myself with one. If all of the above resolutions don't get fulfilled, I will make sure this one does!

Am so looking forward to 2011! Will work towards making 2011 a great, fun-filled, and fulfilling year!! Cheers to a GREAT 2011 ahead!

Yup...tis the season to b home alone once more....parents gona b away for holz again.....but tis time at least just for a week and not 2-3 weeks lyk before.....

So yes, I'll have to go through the routine of cooking once more for me, myself, and I again...woots!

And do check on me as and when I come into your mind, just to make sure I'm alive, make sure I haven't run out of maggi mee, make sure I didn't burn the house down, make sure my hse din get broken into, make sure I can still move and get out of bed and go to work (so scary when I strained my blardy lousy back in the kitchen and couldnt move for half an hour in some weird position with my hp charging in my bedroom while parents were away on holz and me left home alone a couple of years back!)

Yup...so ppl, please do not hesitate to ask me out for meals during this one wk! hahahhas

Getting abit restless at the moment and decided I shall jot down my xmas wish list for this year....Wonder if any of the following will be fulfilled...lolz

1. kikki.K Leather 2011 Planner
2. Asics runners
3. Puma gym bag (pink one!)
4. New chain/necklace
5. New pair of havaianas flip flops
6. Steamboat/ hotpot treat
7. New pair of wedges (fr Rubi)
8. FCUK white leather strap watch
9. Fairy godmother to grant me all my other wishes! muahahaha

This list shall be updated as more stuff comes to mind...Any sponsors/ kind donations are welcomed =)

Itz the last month of the year 2010! Woots...the year's gone by really fast and as I'm sitting down in front of my lappy, I'm trying to think of what I've actually done/ achieved for the past 11 months of 2010.

Having decided not to have any new year resolutions for 2010, I have also realised I haven't really done or achieved much this year...This is no good! Maybe I should set some goals to achieve next coming year so that I wont waste the whole year away.

But then again, it could juz have pretty much been that studies had taken a huge time off my calender for the year. This year, I began working part-time since Jan to focus on my studies as I almost flunked my first module and was under great stress at work. I don't regret on making that crucial decision, even though it meant having earned much less! Like seriously a huge drop in my income! Stop saying I'm a rich ger ppl...I'm prolly at the moment the poorest person ard having spent my whole fortune on my Masters program. But still, it was worth the money and time to do the masters program. It definitely made me a more critical physio =)

Studies aside, I've left my previous clinic earlier in the year after having stayed with them for 2.5years+ and am now working with shifu. New beginnings, new challenges ahead and I think this is just the right time to venture out. But having part-timed for almost the whole year and gone away to Perth for 3 months, I'm still having "jetlag" . So not used to working full-time, especially that Dec is the time when ppl clear leave to go on holz but dear me have to start work full-time =( Hope I'll get into the swing of things soon!

So that perhaps pretty sums up what I've done for the past 11 months in 2010! Boring but at least no quarter life crisis =) Not too bad a 2010 ey?? hehhe

Have been really busy over the past few weeks preparing for mid-term exams and then there was the rehab assignment report and some presentation...And before we know it, there's only 4 more weeks left to go before I head home!

And no, I'm not slacking at the moment...in fact I've been in the library since this morning doing an assignment but I just needed some break away from research articles and textbooks.

As the day draws nearer, I'm beginning to have home-sickness again...sighz...prolly its the stress that's building up with the huge amount of to-dos on my list. There's a major presentation coming up this thurs, an assignment due this coming friday midnight. There's also another assignment to be done and clinical exam to prepare for before I sit for my final theory and prac exam. The thought of it just stresses me out especially when I'm still thinking about the cases that I'm seeing during my clinical attachment. Not sure if itz e perfectionist in me that's creeping out again but these days I just feel i'm not doing or performing well enough during clinics. I know I can do more and can do better, but somehow something is juz stopping me and I don't know what it is...itz simply irritating! Argh!

Anyways...that's the short update for now...need to get back to my assignment...ciao~

Yes! I survived my first month of sch and 5 weeks of stay in Perth!

*Pat on my shoulder*

Think now I'm more or less settled down in Perth and am actually in the midst of studying for my mid-term exams which is next week...gona have a 2hrs 10min theory paper followed by 20 minutes prac exam consisting of 6 qns to b tested by 3 examiners! Woots!

Stress Stress Stress!! And yes this explains why I've restarted to blog....somehow or rather blogging has a therapeutic effect on me...feels better after I pour out whatever's bothering me...

Please pray for me to ace my exams next week...am looking for a pass...not too greedy there ey??

Oh yes...and after the exams I'll be heading over to Magaret River next weekend for my extended weekend break before I get busy again preparing for some rehab presentation/assignment...hiakz....

So yes...please pray I pass my exams so that I can enjoy my mini-break in peace!!! =)

Itz close to 2 wks since I arrived in Perth and i tink i might b having a wee bit of signs of getting homesick....

Hmm...I'm beginning to miss the malay food and indian food...and then strangely past 2 nights I've been having dreams of my family back in Singapore...which I haven't had any before that....

N I'm beginning to b a little sick n tired of cooking for me, myself, and I...I miss the times when I juz get home n expect some food on the table....sighz....I still gt another 11 more weeks to go! Doesnt help much that there's pretty nothing else much to do other than...erm....to study...there's reli no life here in Perth. Shops close damn early and hardly any shops open on Sundays except supermarkets...this meant that due to my lack of avenue to shop for other items (since most shops close early), I end up shoppin alot in the supermarkets...and I'm not exaggerating...it is to e extent that I am almost bursting the space that I've been given to store my food in the cupboards and the fridge...yikes...and I'm buyin more n more comfort food with each passing days....this aint reli good as I'll juz end up eating n eating n eating n keep growin n growin n growin....Blardy Hell!

Please let tis b over soon! Let me pass n go home by end of my 12 wks of sch!! And yes to everyone out dere...pls keep mi entertained if u ever catch me online...itz ex to use e internet here n i wana make full use of e time dat i spend online wif e miserable 2.5hrs dat i limit myself to daily now...Oh holy shit! I miss my unlimited internet access back home! I miss usin e internet on my mobile everywhere i go...

Spent a little bit of a 'ME' time today in the library and I finally read one of the books that I've always wanted to read, but which I always gave the excuse of not having time to look for it - Tuesdays with Morrie

Below is one of my favorite excerpts from the book...

As many who know me well enough, I'm someone who simply hates to read, especially when you are forced to read up tons of research papers for your masters programme. But interestingly, ever since I was down with my quarter-life crisis, I've started reading up more on philosophical works. And more recently, I've taken the effort to catch up on my daily dose of newspaper....and today on the "Mind your Body" section in The Straits Times, i chanced upon an article by Gary Hayden that was very dear to my heart...a topic that revolved around me for the past year of quarter-life crisis... The article was the final part of a series of articles about work and the title for this article was " Work Hard at Being Happy".

One of the ideas presented in that article was to keep a sense of perspective, something that sounded simple but indeed important. Before I continue with the rest of this post, I hope that if you were to get anything out from my post, that would be to remember to "Keep a sense of perspective".

As Gary Hayden puts it, " At the end of the day, a job is a job" and the reason we work is so that we can have leisure. Work is a means to an end, not an end in itself. For those who have just started out in your career, I can understand fully how much you would wish to excel in your job and impress your bosses and move up the corporate ladder, but how often do we start to lose sight of the things happening around us? I would say, almost always. These days, everyone gets so caught up with work that they end up having no time for anything else - no time for hobbies, no time for exercise, no time for even friends and family!

What follows would be complaints of boredom, depression and fatigue...Doesnt that sound all too familiar? Then again, as Tom Hodgkinson puts it, "Career......is a greedy monster, never satisfied, always wanting more", and that "we use career as a stick to beat ourselves with."

So don't you agree that sometimes the fatigue and boredom is self-inflicted? Well, at least, I would think so. Afterall, we all have a choice to choose whether to drown ourselves with work or to do otherwise. We all have a choice to choose whether we want a high-flying job to satisfy our never ending list of wants (but that which leaves us no time to enjoy the wants), or a job that earns enuf to live a decent life and yet still be able to leave us time to enjoy some of our wants.

The choice is there for you to choose...you can choose to control your career or let your career take over control of you! So I'd juz like to end off this post to let you ponder over what's written and make a wise decision....

PS: This post is dedicated to Lenia...dun ever lose sight of other more beautiful things that life has to offer......

Ashley's baby brother has finally decided to come out and meet his family on 25 May 2010 at 8.55pm! He sure looks like his sister Ashley! I almost mistaken his first picture as Ashley's first baby picture!

Hope Ashley will be able to adapt to this new addition to the family....she was abit confused at times in the hospital yesterday, saying that didi is sleeping in the baby cot and the next moment saying didi is in mummy's tummy....I wonder if she thinks she has gt 2 little baby brudders....haha

But one thing for sure Ashley definitely loves her didi...she gets all excited each time she takes a peep at didi and gets amused when didi listens to her and stop crying when she goes "Shhhh"....best of all was when the nurses took didi away and out of the room for some jab, Ashley almost cried out and wanted to bring didi back to within her sight!

I think didi will love Ashley too coz each time Ashley attempts to look at didi or talk to didi, didi never fail to open up his eyes n look intensely at his jie jie Ashley! Tonight will be the first night didi gg to sleep together with jie jie Ashley, papa, and mummy in the same room at home...wonders if jie jie Ashley will sing lullaby or read bedtime stories to her didi...if she does, that would be oh so sweet!



Hope it will be happily ever after between Ashley and didi (and not the beginning of a nightmare).....

Blardy hell....im so mentally blocked!

Seriously no mood to do anything...nt even catch up on my beauty sleep at the moment...there's so much dat i need to do but mentally my brain is just screaming "STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GiMME A BReAK!!!!!"

Darn....absolutely hate this!

Woots~ As the semester is drawing to an end soon my stress level is going up too!

Stressed about maintaining the quality of work for the remainder of my assignments for this current module, stress about completing 3 more assignments in less than a mth!

I've been feeding myself with so much comfort/junk food recently that I'm getting stressed over the fats that's building up too! Yikes! I need all the willpower there is to hang in there and complete the next module...my enthusiasm level has been dipping despite getting good results with my previous assignments....possibly due to mental fatigue....gosh....effects of ageing ey...

Upstairs pls grant me the strength to pull through this challenging period and stop mi from tinking about holidays!!

Wow how time flies...with 3 more working days, I would have been with my current company for 2 years and 7 months.

I've really learnt alot during my stay in the company, be it physio or non-physio related and I'm proud to say I've become less brainless over the years. Really appreciate all the time and effort that my bosses have put into grooming me. And not forgetting all the wonderful times spent with my colleagues!

But lyk the chinese saying goes, there's no banquet in the world that doesnt come to an end. Over time, everyone will start to have their own thinkings, own beliefs as to how things should work, own goals and ideals that no longer align with the rest. So when it is time to let go and move on, we just have to do that. The day I set my heart to tendering the letter was the day where I decided it was time to move on and to fulfil my own goals and ideals and I hope the company would be able to find better physios to work towards theirs as I move on to fufil mine.

Thank you everyone at CC for having had a part in this journey with me!

Here's to a brand new exciting and challenging Chapter Ahead!

Been awhile since I update my blog as I was really stressed up with my studies (screwed it up big time) and also stressed with work.

Due to the mounting stress building up and the continuous lack of sleep, I decided to tender my letter to give myself more time to concentrate on my studies. My last day of work would be 1st Apr....yup...on april's fool....

Hope I've made the right decision as I embark into the next phase of working life....

Finally plucked the courage to click send.

Been looking through my assignments over and over and over and over again the whole day!

Hope I have qouted whichever thing that needs to be quoted, hope I have rephrase what I needed to rephrase and not end up with plagarised work!

Stupid fellow who invented e software that checks for plagarism!!

Please pray that I do well for this module!

The past week has been pretty much a roller-coaster ride in the emotions department for me.

Things weren't going the way I had wanted them to be. And to top it off, getting some unappreciative remark from someone which seriously spoilt my entire week, and possibly for the next few weeks to come. Truth be told, I still am upset about it even though I've talked it through to many and cried out over the phone to shifu.

A lot of information has been piled on me this week and I feel overloaded. Together with the unappreciative senseless remark, it has thrown me into a lot of uncertainties for the next few months to come. At the same time it is making me feel apprehensive about how things are going to work out.

I seriously need a break soon to just get things sorted out. It's simply way too much for me. Argh!! Decisions, Decisions, Decisions! How I hate making decisions!!